I am finally reaching the end of an awkward faze, which has been full of insincere friends. I am beginning to realise that these people are not going to change.
I am a firm believer that we give out energy to the universe, which draws a certain type of person to us. I believe that my insecurities and under confidence very much draws the type of people who need to feel Superior and like to judge and criticise. Further lowering my self esteem.
We get back what we give out. And if you believe you do not deserve good, you will not attract good.
Even though I have been well aware of this, digging myself out of this shy and uncertain hole has proven easier said than done.
But finally I am realising peoples true nature. I am seeing through their facades. I am accepting my position in these friendships. And slowly saying goodbye. They are beginning to not matter. I am caring less.
Which is a huge thing for me. For I definitely am ruled by emotions.
I deserve better.
I need to concentrate on opening myself up and softening my protective barriers. So that I can attract the right sort of people.
The song I am linking here is actually not directed at the people in my life. It is at myself. Because they are only there and damaging because I let them.
No...this song is directed at the side of me that allows myself to be treated badly. My lack of confidence. My feelings of worthlessness. It is this part of me that allows this. I will never move forward until I stop letting that side rule.
Sweet Sacrifice - Evanescence
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